Bringing Acting Home - Listening

In Marc Forster’s 2004 film, ‘Finding Neverland’, starring Johnny Depp and Kate Winslet, the character J.M.Barrie (Depp) arranges for the stars of his new play ‘Peter Pan’ to perform a private home performance for bed-bound Sylvia Davies (Winslet). Now, even though some of us might be quite keen on having Johnny Depp or Kate Winslet in our lounge, the likelihood of them appearing dressed in Edwardian costume in a room where the walls fly to the ceiling and there’s a man dressed as a dog (Angus Barnett as Nana), isn’t particularly high. So what do I mean if I say that it’s time to bring acting home?

This is the first in a series of articles on how we can use acting skills in everyday life.

Have you ever sat with a group of people, a colleague or even someone that you consider a friend and elaborately outlined a worry or concern, an idea or a passion and then sat back dejectedly as they completely miss the point? I do quite a bit of roleplay acting as a patient for medical students and it is shocking how many times the following might occur:

MEDICAL STUDENT
So, Mr Palmer, what’s brought you in today?
PATIENT
I’ve been suffering with this really bad cough at night.
MEDICAL STUDENT
Really bad cough? Ok. And how long has this been going on?
PATIENT
About a week, along with a bit of a tight chest.
MEDICAL STUDENT
Ok. And when does this cough come on?
PATIENT
Err. Like I said, at night.
MEDICAL STUDENT
At night. Okay. And have you had any other problems? (associated symptoms)
PATIENT
Well, I said, I have a tight chest.

On paper it looks a bit ridiculous but I can assure that in end of year exams, this or something similar is extremely common. The student has a list of questions that they need to get through in order to pass and yet they miss the vitals in the response. They forget to listen. Now, this isn’t a failure of the teaching institution but rather it is an endemic problem throughout our culture. We are much more concerned with our own agenda, what is going on in our life, our next question, our next answer. In so doing, we tend to miss so many moments of great interaction. We don’t hear what somebody is really saying. Ideas lie discarded before they are thought through, creativity is stubbed out and relationships stay locked in a cycle of surface based frivolity.

Why do we feel that we can talk deeply with some people and not with others? Why is it that our best friends are often people that we would describe as ‘great listeners’? It is because such a person has learnt to value other people and their thoughts, words and opinions through earnest listening. It is in feeling valued that we feel safe to give deeply of ourselves – our dreams, our visions and our life plans. As actors we are trained to listen in the truest sense of the word. Listening on stage is both active and exciting to watch. Good stage actors won’t simply wait around for their line - rather they will ‘breathe in’ what is happening around them. They will listen to the dialogue and react truthfully to what is being said and in so doing create believable and entrancing relationships.

So why are we so bad at listening and how do we get better?

When was the last time you stood still and listened? I mean, really listened? Try it now. I can hear music playing on my laptop (Sibelius Symphony no. 7 for those that care!). I can hear the bathroom fan (three rooms away!). I can hear a few people chatting outside the window and the constant hum of passing buses and cars. Then when I type, the keyboard clicks back at me. Simply put, there is no silence, no peace. It is virtually impossible to stand anywhere in England and not hear the sound of passing traffic or an airplane overhead. The plain facts are that we are bombarded on all sides by useless sound to the point where we get used to siphoning it out, ignoring it and not paying attention to it. We are subconsciously training ourselves not to listen. I was lucky enough to be brought up being taken to classical music concerts and I remember my father telling me that ‘listening is hard work’. We do indeed need to concentrate when listening to a complex piece of music like a fugue or symphony. We need to give it our full attention - our full antennae - and actually give something of ourselves. It is in this giving that we receive the very best of what is to be received in music, relationships and also in acting.

As actors, we are trained to pick up and identify slight nuances of tone, of subtext beneath a word or phrase and also the tension in silence. If we fail at this then our reaction seems false and badly acted. But even as professionals, we have to remain in constant practice and it is only in taking the time to listen that we remember how.

But surely, in the Western world, there is no time or space for silence. Well, find it! I recently came across a fantastic new initiative called 'Quiet Mark'. This is a mark awarded to quiet appliances like the bathroom fan or lawnmower. Consumers will be able to tell if what they are buying or fitting is going to make such a racket that will be heard by the neighbour, keep you awake as it spin-drys or whether it will simply carry on its job without polluting the air with more useless noise. We are silently crying out for less noise!

It is in listening that we can begin to create deeper, trusting and more worthwhile relationships at home, school, work or social situations. As an actor, listening is a core skill that is honed and practiced and therefore, whether it is through one-on-one classes with 'Home Acting Tuition' (HAT) or group workshops with Windmill Young Actors, learning the skill of listening is absolutely vital.